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You are watching: Why does he keep staring at me

Making eye contact can mean anything native "You don't exist come me" to "I'd choose to watch you naked." Here's exactly how to tell which is which.

16 minute readRelationships
Eye call is important, specifically in dating and also gauging people’s attraction come you. Anyone should have actually a basic understanding the what each human being is eye-coding to them in any given situation, and it doesn’t take it a cryptographer to figure it out. Or if that does, climate fuck it, I’m that cryptographer.

In this article, I will certainly decrypt the 11 level of eye contact for the uninitiated eye. Gone are the days of blindly guessing even if it is cutie in ~ the bar has the hots for you. You will certainly know. And if girlfriend don’t, you will do it at least have a pretty an excellent idea.

Table the Contents

The strength of Eye Contact

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ll have actually heard the saying, “The eyes space the home window to the soul,” or some cheesy sport thereof.

Intuitively, we know the strength of eye contact. We’ve all experienced that moment when friend look right into someone’s eyes and also see a million unspoken words. Native the stern look at in your mother’s challenge when the five-year-old you damaged into the fridge and also ate that bath tub of ice cream cream, to the scrutinizing rigid of the interviewer as you wondered whether you answered that last question well sufficient to for sure the job of your dreams.

The power of the rigid is no mystery. There is a wealth of study behind it. Here are the highlights that what eye call does.

You don’t have actually to think in love at an initial sight (I don’t), to evaluate the power of eye contact. Merely meeting eyes through someone won’t do them loss head end heels for you, but it certain will do plenty of other things that can turn them indigenous a “maybe” come a “fuck yes.”

(Don’t) Avert your Eyes!

If you’re analysis this article, opportunities are you’re not entirely comfortable do eye call with others. And also that’s perfect normal. 

Eye contact can be fucking intimidating. The feels together though we room exposing ourself in part way, prefer we’re naked.

Generally, human being find eye contact an overwhelming for many reasons. Some experience from trauma. Some have attachment and also intimacy issues. Some room uncomfortable through who lock are and therefore don’t wish to be seen. Part may have something come hide. And also others might simply it is in shy, or inexperienced.

The score of this guide is to peel the class of eye contact and reveal come you a simple yet powerful action the anyone—yourself included—can master.

The level of Eye Contact

Here is an entirely overly-analytical, and mostly-satirical-but-kinda-true-too overview to the level of eye contact and also what type of attraction that means.

Level (-1): No Eye contact (Intentional)

Beyond the shortest level of eye contact, this is once someone is not just not making eye contact with you, but they’re consciously making an effort to not look at you. In the heights of sex-related intimacy, Level (-1) is subterranean. It’s a person’s method of saying, “Get far from me, creep,” without, friend know, actually saying it.

This eye contact (or absence thereof) is generally reserved for the horny mouth-breathers that stare in ~ a girl’s tits, obnoxious drunk men in full-on bro mode, the crazed ex-girlfriend stalker, or any kind of other potential psycho in one’s vicinity.

Level (-1) eye contact can also occur within a conversation. Just since he or she is responding come you verbally doesn’t average you’re the end of the gates yet. Placed simply, if who is purposely making an initiative to no look in ~ you, they’re no interested. It’s the anti-intimacy. The non-verbal cue for “Give it up… and also go the fuck away from me.”

That or you have actually some mustard on your face.

Level 0: No Eye call (Unintentional)

An unintentional absence of eye contact signals a lack of expertise you exist. It means nothing other than lock haven’t i found it you. Either they’re busy and focusing on miscellaneous else, or you’re around as intriguing to look at at as grandma’s wallpaper.

Level 1: Glance (Unconscious)

An unconscious glance is that moment when who looks up at you and also then automatically looks away, although they’re not mindful of what they’re feather at. It’s basically once their eyes space wandering around and also coincidentally meet yours because that a moment and then continue wandering.

The key here is that he or she is not conscious of her eyes meeting and therefore naught is registering come them as an especially interesting or enticing in the moment. Just like Level 0, this level the eye contact is neutral and also there’s not much to take far from it. Most people aren’t paying attention to what they’re looking at most of the time.

Level 2: Glance (Conscious)

The second level that eye contact is the first type that eye contact where you’ve perhaps made a optimistic impression on a person. This is when your eyes and also theirs take place to meet and also then they look far immediately, other than they look away consciously, even if it is it be due to the fact that of shyness, awkwardness, or disinterest.

Body language studies case that a person who breaks eye call with you by looking down is intimidated (i.e., attracted) and a human who division eye call by looking to the next is indifferent (i.e., not attracted).8

I have no idea if this is true or not. But if someone breaks eye call with you quickly and also intentionally, it’s commonly a polarized response: they’re either attracted and momentarily self-conscious by your presence, or lock uninterested and avoiding making contact altogether.

Most world are no comfortable hold eye call with strangers, what would certainly signal the interest right here is that their eye were drawn to girlfriend in the very first place. So it’s no the break it so much that is important, what’s crucial is the they consciously looked at you.

Differentiating in between Level 2 eye contact and Level 1 eye call is subtle and hard to perform consistently with any type of sort of accuracy. Return you execute pick up some acuity end time. It’s difficult to ever before be 100% details what who else’s intentions are, therefore why not just assume everyone that makes strong eye call with girlfriend is attracted till proven otherwise?

A good exercise because that someone who is new or embarrassy is to practice never ever breaking eye contact with people prior to they rest it through you. Walk around all day and also make eye call with people you find interesting or attractive. You’ll feeling uncomfortable do eye contact with strangers, however that’s the idea. Save doing it till it feeling natural. It will help your confidence.

Level 3: Glance and a Half

Level 3 is the an initial level where interest is conveyed, ever so slightly. Prefer the other lower levels of eye contact, the glance-and-a-half is ethereal and an overwhelming to notice without a the majority of practice. It’s once someone looks at you and also breaks eye call as they normally do, but they hold the eye contact for a split second longer 보다 is normal. I’m talking possibly 1/4 the a 2nd longer.

Whereas Level 2 eye contact may last half a second, Level 3 will certainly last 3/4 of a second. It’s subtle, it’s short, and it’s unconscious. Humans are wired come spend more time looking at things they find attractive on an unconscious level. So in your mind, they’re still breaking eye call with you, yet in practice, they’re actually looking in ~ you 50% much longer than they would normally.

It took me a while to begin picking increase on Level 3 eye contact. Level 3 wake up most frequently when they are consciously focused on other else, such together on their cell phone call or talking to someone they’re with. Lock don’t realize the they’re looking at you, despite they totally are. Any eye contact from Level 3 upwards should be a solid incentive because that the two of girlfriend to in ~ least have actually a conversation.

Level 4: double Glance

Here’s a great habit to get yourself into once you’re maybe to preserve eye call with civilization walking around. Any type of time you make eye contact with someone attractive and also they look away, store looking in ~ them because that another few seconds. A percentage of them will certainly look in ~ you a second time. In mine experience, this is a clear authorize of physical interest, and also 95%+ that the subsequent interactions girlfriend initiate v this human being will be got warmly.


What’s funny is that also on Level 4 eye contact, most civilization are not aware that they’re act it. I’ve approached females who have looked in ~ me double in a row and I discussed that I saw them look in ~ me, and they serious didn’t psychic looking at me. I’ve also said, “We did an eye contact thing. Us made eye call like 3 times in a row, you didn’t notice?” and they didn’t… or they were lying scumbags. One of two people way, just goes to show how most human being are turn off in your own tiny world no thinking about any of this stuff.

Regardless, the unconscious psychic is always seeking out things it finds amazing or intriguing, so if your eyes keep falling ~ above you, it’s a sign.

Level 5: The Gaze

The rigid is the last level that can take place unconsciously return it’s normally conscious. This is when someone looks at you and just keeps looking at you past the typical “look away” moment. This is a hard 2-3 secs of eye call without them break it. Once undesired, this becomes the infamous “creep stare.” however in the instances of desirable human being looking at you, this is extremely good news.

This is why it’s so essential to obtain in the habit of being able to hold eye contact since otherwise, you’ll miss out on every one of the people giving friend Level 3-5 eye contact. The rigid is a clear and big sign that interest. You’d it is in pretty dumb to happen up this signal.


Level 6: The Smile

The 6th level the eye call is The rigid plus a smile. If The gaze is a clear authorize telling you that they’re interested, throwing a laugh on peak of that may as well be a neon flashing billboard. If someone you find attractive offers you Level 6 and you don’t talk to them, not only are girlfriend an idiot, however you probably have actually some serious anxiety walking on.

Level 7: The Eye Fuck

This is someone who makes eye contact, holds it, smiles, and also then never ever stops. They just keep staring and smiling, and staring and also smiling, occasionally for minutes at a time.

Eye fucking is the an initial level that eye contact that makes the leap native “interested/curious” to “they desire to have actually sex through me.” Eye fucking doesn’t withhold any kind of intentions. It’s about as lot interest as one have the right to possibly display screen through eye contact alone. If you acquire eye fucked by an attractive person and also don’t plot on it, you’re most likely blind or mid-seizure. I can’t think of any kind of other reasonable explanation.9

When undesired, The Eye fuck is exceedingly creepy. If you’re a man and you regularly eye fuck women who perform not reciprocate or smile back, climate you will likely accomplish Mr. Pepper Spray in your near future.

Eye fuckers will often end up approaching girlfriend if friend don’t approach. Although many of them will offer up if you don’t strategy for a couple of minutes and also assume you’re no interested. If you’re a man and also a woman is eye fucking you, the hint must be clear: she desires you to speak to her.

Level 8: The Dreamboat

The Dreamboat happens when someone has fallen for you. This is once you wake up in the morning to who staring at you with that dreamy smile choose they’re drunk or stayed up every night sniffing glue. It’s the means two people look at each other as soon as cuddling and also making cutesy noises while rubbing your noses together.

The Dreamboat almost never happens before you’ve had sex through someone, and if it does, they’re either Amish or it’s a gigantic red flag. Usually, the starts keep going a month or two into a brand-new relationship, although the can take place in as small as a couple nights with each other (or in rare circumstances, one).


Assuming the feeling is mutual, The Dreamboat is amazing. The the most validating eye call a human can offer you. Century of literature and million-dollar films have prospered off of what The Dreamboat rigid signifies. It’s what we humans are obsessed v on part level. And also whether we like to admit it or not, it’s what most of us space after in the long-run. So once you find it, reap it.

But… if the emotion is not mutual, if The Dreamboat is a one-way street, it’s not constantly such a satisfied experience. Unrequited love is no funny for anybody. Nobody likes to rest a heart and make those eye cry. Simply be honest and upfront, break points off v respect and dignity, and also hope the their eye don’t morph into…


Level 9: The Crazies

The 9th and final level of eye contact cannot be explained as lot as experienced.

When you experience The Crazies, a person doesn’t even have to be existing to see them. Lock haunt you. They’re everywhere and nowhere.

It’s the guy who wakes you increase by banging ~ above your window at 3AM crying that you never called him back. Or the girl that faked gift pregnant due to the fact that she believed it’d get you to get earlier together through her. Or the male who carved your name right into his arm as a birthday present.

They’re the eyes the look at you in earnest as soon as they say they want to quit your job and also move come Tahiti so that you two can be together, perfectly alone, forever. The Crazies denote delusion, hopeless emotion, and also the finish loss the a tight on reality. The Crazies often come v a restraining order.

People who have actually seen The Crazies and also lived to tell carry out so with a level that humility and despondence. Most have faced their re-publishing of irrational and dramatic relationships. Some have actually perhaps witnessed The Crazies for fleeting moments—an enraged girlfriend who ran roughly at him through a baseball bat, the man who left her 43 angry voicemails in one night—and these civilization pass these story of insanity around practically as a argorial of honor.

But many of those who have actually seen the depths, looked right into the eyes and also seen the true amorous insanity behind them, like any kind of true veteran choose to save the pain and also horror stowed far in their hearts, no to view the light of day.

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They say every is same in love and war, and also in certain places and at specific times, the 2 don’t feeling so different. And also like any war story, living it and also telling it do neither justice.